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Stag Weekend March 2007

Puerto Banus Stag Weekend March 2007

My stag weekend in Spain turned out to be a great success, all of us, a group of 16-20 lads all said that they have had a great time, no incidents of death, arrest injury or alcohol poisoning, bar one arrest at the airport on departure.
Poor Ryan some trouble a few months ago in Spain and he has ended up behind bars, joining us back in the UK shortly.

Going back to the actual weekend….
We all decided that Saturday night would be the big night, but of course as soon as we landed at the airport where the coach was waiting, the right thing to do was to start the weekend as we meant to go on with, a bang!
We stopped at a few bars on the way to the hotel as we couldn’t wait, much to the drivers’ dismay…
Each time we stopped we were getting more wasted, and typically by the time we got to the hotel we were all well on the way to be completely trashed, after a diversion to a wrong hotel (thanks driver), we eventually arrived at our hotel!
Katie of course never left me any booking info for the hotel….and they had the wrong amount of people booked in to the hotel, they had twelve not 16, I then tried to argue this point, but could hardily speak, I managed to get Katie on the phone who confirmed that it was under two names, both under the name of Self, how difficult was that for the hotel! We managed to get our stuff into our rooms and carried on out to Puerto Banus, we called into most bars on the front, and only played up a little bit, not as noisy and rowdy as you would expect but we still managed to consume large amounts of alcohol and stuff……

We then carried on to the early hours of the morning and I think that I managed to keep up with the lads, and crawled home about 6am. I am sure that they tucked me up in bed and carried on, I never realized what a bunch of hard core users and abusers I am actually friends with, I must have been the lightest weight on the whole trip, how embarrassing , bearing in mind that I was the stag!
There was a point when I got up, when they were crashing around in the apartment, that I thought I was going to die.
I got paranoid thinking, “who out of them would know the right number to ring”, in my state I got out my Spanish helicopter medical card, and as I went round each person trying to give them the card to help me, I am sure that they thought I was giving it to them for something else! I stayed with them in the apartments lounge for another hour, as I was convinced that I was dying, then I realized that maybe I am not and went back to bed, leaving the animals to carry on!

We rose from our pits at about mid-day on Saturday and made for a good brekkie, as it was such a beautiful day it was decided to spend the afternoon drinking in the beach bars.
Weather was good so out came the cocktails, and other combinations of alcohol, it was the start of a great afternoon.

Then came out the Stags Dare, the Borat Suit, which I had been threatened with prior to our arrival in Spain, but didn’t really think would happen, how wrong could I have been!

After arguing the point for what felt like forever, I decided that by doing this I would be getting off quite lightly, James had promised me that this is all I would have to do.
The atmosphere was good and not that many people about so off came my clothes and on went the Borat suit, to everyone’s delight!

All I had to do was walk down the beach and dip my toes in the water….so down the beach I walk in the fluorescent green Borat suit to much laughing and jeering from the many spectators in the restaurants that I had to walk passed to get to the sea!

On dipping my toes in the water I walked back to the bar to find that surprise, surprise everyone had left! All I had with me was my phone; I couldn’t walk back to the hotel like this, having to explain to everybody why I was dressed like this…
Fortunately for me another friend of mine was on the beach, I managed to get a towel and a t-shirt to save my modesty!
The rest of the groups were waiting round the corner in fits of laughter, extremely satisfied that I had completed my most embarrassing dare!
More drinks in the bar, followed by a few of us having a siesta, with the hard core going on through.

Saturday evening started with a meal and then carried on to various bars, Linekars, Seven, and many others….
This carried on to about 3-4 am, again the hardcore were just banging away with the drinks, and I again managed to slope of without most of them noticing and be tucked up
in bed for about 4am, unfortunately those that had gone through the night came back to the hotel, like a herd of elephants and carried on drinking, don’t these guys ever need to rest?!!
I was almost rising as they were winding down to sleep!
The festivities carried on Sunday, and I managed to last through until midnight, I was worn out, they all came back Monday am, by this stage was very embarrassed at my lack of hard core drinking ability, mind you I am at least ten years older than most of them!
I think that some of them only had a few hours sleep the whole weekend; everyone has said what a great time they had, I have thanked James, my best man personally and he put a great show on, there was no fall outs, arguments fights etc, it really was a great one….

No arrests…until departure at the airport….and an unpaid fine turned up to haunt Ryan!!

Pictures of the weekend to view for those select few… know who you are!

Thanks to everyone that came, thank god I only have to have the one stag night!!!

If you want to see the UNCUT gallery! Click Here
Boys On Tour Puerto Banus – March 2007

Mr Daryl Self as you’ve never seen him before, and probably never again unless he does decide to come out of the closet.

These photographs were taken at lunchtime where Daryl was made to walk to the sea and back whilst we ran away with his clothes, not a pleasant sight seeing a black man in a Borat suit running after us with his bollocks hanging out. We were all part pissed at this stage and the whole thing became alot messy as the day/night went on.

I’d like to say a big thanks to Daryl for getting married and having a stag weekend and Bronson for organising the event and my new friends Hoff, Mole, Walnut, Baldy, Paint, Drewzy, Handoff, Westy and Nigel, oh fuck wrong name 10 euros and a shot for me

One fantastic weekend


Dog Found!
Any one loose a dog in Puerto Banus think we have found one, not the bloke on the right that’s my mate Gary….