Business Opportunities

Tax Man – Again

I am swimming in my pool with my son and thinking about the tax man, I cannot relax and enjoy quality time with my son without stressing out about the tax man!
The latest issue that I have with the tax man is that I decided to spread my self assessment payments over a period of six months, as I have been paying on the nail for over 6 years and have never been rewarded. For those of you not aware of Self Assessment tax payments, these are actually payments on account for money that they think you are going to be earning over the next tax year! So as it’s in advance what’s the problem in spreading these payments out, enabling me to have reserve funds for potential business deals.
Post dated cheques were sent of which they cashed one and returned the others. I then received a telephone call from some little jumped up tea boy at the tax office who told me that without filling in a hardship form split payments were not acceptable, he then had the audacity to tell me that it was his money that I was playing with, well, as you can imagine I blew, a f$%^ing hardship form, who do they think they are talking to!?
The matter has now gone to the courts, with me still feeding the tax office the monthly payments that they sent back. It is costing me over £100k per year with book keepers, accountants and advisors to tell me how much I owe the tax man, so in the long run I would be better off giving the tax man my accounts in a biscuit tin and letting them work out how much I owe them.
It has been worked out that over the past four years I have had the pleasure of paying my not so silent partner, the tax man over £1 Million!!!!!! And they are still on my case…
They wonder why people end up disappearing with the big one?!
Perhaps one day they will wind me up so much that … poof….. I am gone.
They have had a good screw from me over the years, why can’t they give me a break?
And as for my other silent partners the VAT man and NI, I’ll leave that for another day, I am now going to enjoy the rest of my evening in the pool with my son!